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Satirical website for non- and still-smokers
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New year, new bad luck!

Start Smoking – from non-smoker to chain smoker!
14 January 2021
The Smoking Schweini Method - or how to put your smoking resolutions into action this year!

Yoo-hoo, it's Smoking Schweini, your inner smoking pig dog.

I thought I'd check in with you - now that the new year has a few days under its belt - and see how you're doing with your good intentions.

You must have resolved to increase your cigarette consumption this year, to increase the dose, just like every year - slowly but steadily, right?

And like every year, now that you're about to put it into practice, you're suddenly having doubts, aren't you? You're tempted to question your intentions or even throw them overboard.

But don't worry, that's what I'm here for! What are friends for. As your personal bastard, I'll support you wherever I can - and I'm good at it. We are not for nothing a well-rehearsed team for many years!

Even if a hater has crept in on this Website, which makes with its slanderous text tendency against me - you know, who belongs to you and your cigarettes. You can always count on me.

So, shut him up, that parasite called "guilty conscience" that gnaws and eats away at you somewhere. Demanding things that you don't want.

Don't doubt your chosen path. Keep your feet still and let yourself be carried away by the swaths of time.

Drive away all worries with thoughts of tomorrow!

Live in the now. Concentrate completely on my soothing voice, which gives you support in these restless times - together with the cigarette, which you can hold on to. You need both of us.

You will see, after a while there will be peace again, this "conscience" - all by itself.
We'll stay on track, the three of us!

So, smoke well - then it will work out with the doctor!
Your Schweini

Autor Schweini Schweinehund über gute Rauchervorsätze

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