<![CDATA[The smoking blog of Start Smoking]]> https://start-smoking.com/blog/ EN Mon, 31 May 2021 09:05:00 +0200 <![CDATA[Black Lungs Matter]]> imblog
Call for ANSD (Anti-Non-Smoking Demo)


Black Lungs Matter! ++ The counter-demo to the world nonsmoker day

Dear Smoker Community, our smoker association "Black Lungs" is holding its first annual counter-demo to World No Tobacco Day tonight. Please come in numbers and participate in our midnight march (if you still have at least one leg)! Crutches, walkers and respirators will be available for your use at no charge. If you run out of air, use our mobile oxygen tent to refuel!

There is to be no room for us smokers in the system of the elites. The World Health Forum's "Great Reset" envisions a world without us smokers and bland, clean air without smoke particles. For years, Antita (anti-tobacco action) has been mobilizing against our association. Today's World No Tobacco Day is an invention of the World Health Organization (WHO) and the non-smoking industry, with which they want to further discredit German smoking and tempt us to buy nicotine replacement products or make good resolutions. Not with us!

Maintaining the smoking tradition
Statistics show that the smoking trade is often passed down from generation to generation. "If not ourselves, we would at least like to keep the tradition alive," says a member of our association who has passed on his own passion for nicotine to his son through his exemplary behavior. "By modeling our values to our children, they adopt them almost by themselves."

Tumors have a right to life, too
Smokers who are pregnant with tumors are often coerced into abortion by members of the nonsmoking lobby. "The evil pressure from my family environment to have my lung cancer removed was enormous," reports one victim, who does not wish to be named here. "We are strictly against the abortion of tumors," says priest Nicotinus von Weihrauch. "Would the Lord God have created tumors if he had wanted man to destroy them?"

Fake Media
For years, the media have been reporting in a one-sided, cautionary manner about the alleged risks of using tobacco. If you look more closely, behind such "studies" are usually doctors or health organizations suspected of maintaining contacts with the non-smokers' lobby. Representatives of the tobacco companies have repeatedly confirmed in court under penalty of perjury that cigarettes are not harmful. On the contrary, the positive effects of cigarette consumption on the salaries of the bosses of Phillip Morris and Co. are undisputed!

Midnight march
We don't want to put up with all this any longer. We are fed up with the constant reprimands and lectures from the radical non-smokers! The clock is ticking. It is five to twelve with all of us! Tonight we have to show our (wrinkled) face! The glow of our smoldering cigarettes and the smoke pouring into the night air will be the symbol of our protest! Thousands of cigarette fireflies will light up the night to day! Let's turn our cigarettes into torches of resistance!
I say to you, dear Brrüdaar ond Schwästern: Victory ... Move in!
(Oh yes, who still has Rügenpresse posters, please bring them!)

ANSD program
When. Today, five to twelve (i.e. shortly before the end)
Where? In Kippenstadt. Meeting point: At the Zündlerplatz
Guest speaker: Filip Moritz
Important: Please comment and share this call with your community so that we can smoke even more people!

Further on good train!
wishes you
Your Friedhof Krebs
Chairman Black Lungs Association
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Jetzt Teil des Widerstands werden! Neumitglieder erhalten „Start Smoking – Raucher werden in zehn (Lungen)Zügen” heute kostenlos als eBook bei Amazon!

]]> Mon, 31 May 2021 07:05:00 GMT https://start-smoking.com/blog/?black-lungs-matter https://start-smoking.com/blog/rss/000000017 <![CDATA[CAUTION: Collagen trap!]]> imblog Doctors sound the alarm! More and more women are falling into the collagen trap!

Collagen is a treacherous "structural protein" that settles into the lower layers of the skin, making it appear more radiant than absolutely necessary. Sufferers are often women. Those affected suffer from being mistaken for being younger than they actually are.

"I wanted to go to an over-30s party, but the bouncers wouldn't let me in because they thought I was in my early twenties," reports a female collagen victim in tears as she recalls the incident.

Kerstin Z.*[name changed by editor] had been so traumatized by the experience that she hardly dared go out on the street anymore. "Every time a stranger looked at me, I had the feeling that he thought I was younger than I really was!"

Kerstin is not an isolated case. In particular, women who have passed the age of thirty and do not want to be satisfied with the visual maturity they have achieved suffer from the excess of collagen in their own skin.

Cigarette replaces costly decollagenization
No wonder that cosmetic surgeons have been literally overrun in recent years by women who want to have their collagen surgically removed.

"Many women are ashamed of their flawless skin and turn to us in desperation," reports Dr. Felix Fagerström, whose practice specializes in decollagenizations. "The trend is definitely toward more mature skin."

To that end, Fagerström swears by cigarettes as a therapeutic tool, and has increasingly moved away from the far more involved surgical decollagenization. "Smoking removes the annoying collagen pads in the skin much more efficiently than we would ever have been able to with the means of classical medicine," he explains, proudly presenting portrait photos of female smokers for whom the therapy was a complete success - including Kerstin - as proof.

Raucherinnen mit kollagenbefreiter Haut

"Every woman has the right to at least look her real age," says Fagerström. "But we like to take it up a notch!"

Using hypnosis, he helps women kick the smoking habit. "Most of them manage to do it on their own. But many just can't get out of their skin. That's where we like to help."

Kerstin also let Dr. Fagerström guide her into nicotine addiction. "The idea of one day having passed forty and being mistaken by people for being in my mid-thirties was pure horror for me," she says. "Starting to smoke was therefore the logical decision."

While the cost of cigarette therapy averages about 200 euros per month - depending on the level of therapy - much higher than the traditional method, it is highly likely to end on its own sooner than for nonsmokers.

Dr. Fagerström believes that smoking also has a positive influence on the premature formation of age spots. This is great news for Kerstin, who now looks confidently in the mirror and is delighted every time she discovers another new wrinkle.

"Now people even think I'm much older than I really am!" she beams - proudly showing off her laugh lines.
]]> Sun, 18 Apr 2021 07:05:00 GMT https://start-smoking.com/blog/?collagen-trap https://start-smoking.com/blog/rss/000000016 <![CDATA[Chainsmokers Workshop: Pull through together!]]> imblog

Invitation to the chain smoking workshop!

Our motto: "The best time to quit is always another time!"
Duration: Until the (bitter?) end.

In this life enpooring workshop, we will learn how to continuously increase our cigarette stint over the years - simply by watching ourselves do it while feeling powerless.

In the workshop we use the following tools:

Devotion
At the beginning of the training we learn how to surrender to social (group) pressures so that we finally belong to the cool guys or the trendy ladies.

Enforcement
We break the initial resistance of our body by forcing it to take in the poison happiness of the cigarette. In our current (adolescent?) phase, we know best what is good for us, and we don't let it get us down. No smoker has ever fallen from the sky (rather the other way around ;-).

Habituation
We celebrate the first successes together when we experience how our bond with the cigarette strengthens. The sporadic night out/party cigarette has become a permanent part of our everyday life and our constant companion. Let's be aware of our progress! The gradual change could otherwise make us forget them.

Conditioning
We teach ourselves to recognize the cigarette as a panacea for any stress we encounter in our daily lives, thus automating our grip on it. The great thing is, the more we smoke, the faster we get stressed when we don't. A circle of angels!

Displacement
... is half of life. Refined displacement strategies of our mind can be an important support for us in everyday life. They help us not to even read texts like this one or to move pictures on cigarette packets and other unpleasant thoughts deep into the subconscious. There they can let off steam and rumble away in peace.

In mom-and-pop role-playing games
... we learn to produce further generations of smokers by modeling a smoker's life for our children. In this way, we increase the chance that our children will become smokers themselves, and in turn pass the passion on to their children ... etc. Imagine how proud you will be when one day you catch your child smoking in secret for the first time - and know that you did your part.

Our ego
... helps us to defend our self-image at the drop of a hat - by reacting to criticism with reflexive offendedness, retreat into the victim role and spontaneous unsympathy towards the critic (who only means ill with us).

Mantra and creativity
Before class starts, we get in the mood for Smoking Day with the mantra "Yes, I know that ..., but ...". We exercise our ingenuity by always coming up with a comprehensible reason for the second part of the mantra.

Mental visualizations
... and not questioning our own beliefs help us to neither imagine nor want a life without cigarettes. This keeps us going!

Last part: Shovel (please bring along)
In the parallel practical part we learn how to throw money out the open window.
(Please keep the shovel ready for later. It may be used elsewhere soon).

Can't wait to get started? Click here to register.
It pays to be quick: the early smoker catches the cancer!
Oh wait, I see you're already signed up! ;-)

About me
One more sentence about me as an exercise instructor: Years of experience in working with you and your mind enable me to design a program specifically tailored to your needs. I look forward to accompanying you for the rest of your smoking life.
Don't change – and act like it!

Sincerely
Your inner pig dog



Schweini Pig Dog*
"Never change a conditioned system!"

* badly translated from the German "nnerer Schweinehund” meaning your "inner couch potato"
]]> Wed, 17 Mar 2021 08:05:00 GMT https://start-smoking.com/blog/?chain-smoking-workshop https://start-smoking.com/blog/rss/000000015 <![CDATA[Zigcoin - the invest in de-constructing your future!]]> imblog
While the broad mass discovers the Bitcoin for itself, one works with Filip Moritz with the Zigcoin long on the still much more profitable money printing machine with search effect!

„Neither gold nor bitcoin is the crisis currency of the future," says Filip Moritz, the world's largest Zigcoin producer. "The asset with the most stable price performance in history is the cigarette."

The so-called "cigarette" is a de-tokenized form of the Zigcoin in the form of a small cylinder-like object filled with dried tobacco (also known as a "butt" in IT jargon).

Another commonality between the two currencies is their popularity among criminals. "Without cigarettes, there would be no functioning capital market in prisons," Moritz emphasizes the importance of his product.

Users of the Zigcoin are referred to as "smokers." These can exchange the physical coin for bad breath and their own health at any time by inhaling it.

The technology behind
While one block is chained to another in the blockchain of the Bitcoin, the inclined smoker chains one cigarette to another. This is why it is referred to as a "chain smoker." With each transmutation, the inhaled smoke is overwritten to the user's genetic code via the lungs.

The smoker's reward is expressed in the so-called "hash rate". This determines how much proportion of "other plants" is contained in the smoke and has a direct influence on the body's own reward system.

Doubters and critical voices
As with Bitcoin, there are skeptics who fear that Zigcoin is nothing but hot air and could end up going up in smoke.

Filip Moritz vehemently disagrees. "The tar in the lungs and the calcification in the arteries usually remain with the smoker for the rest of his life." In this respect, he says, cigarettes are the more sustainable investment of the two.

Ablagerungen in Arterien von Rauchern
Smokers often have deposits in the arteries for the rest of their lives. Some smokers benefit from the so-called smoker's leg.

Bitcoin still lags behind Zigcoin in other areas. The addictive effect of cigarettes, for example, is many times higher, he said. "We also had the vending machine idea long before the Bitcoin guys."

Miners and farmers
What miners are to bitcoin, "farmers" are to cigarettes, physically growing or "farming" tobacco. Here, the tobacco corresponds to the ones and zeros in the bitcoin's binary code.

The difference is that the bitcoin miner gets to keep most of the profits for himself, while the tobacco farmer does not.
"Because that's where we come in," Filip Moritz says proudly. Thanks to elaborate contracts, good contacts and excellent lobbying, he says, the company has managed to keep small farmers in developing countries in check and pocket the profits itself.

"Our contractors on the ground, we call them 'pawn catchers,' always manage to 'convince' farmers of the profitability of our business model."

As with Bitcoin, he said, it's the vision that counts, and that must be made palatable to investors or growers. Hence the term "pawn sacrifice."


Proud tobacco farmer at work

Drum prüfe, wer sich ewig bilde
Filip Moritz is helped in this by the "education" of the farmers – or rather the lack of it. Since the farmers have often been working on the tobacco plantations since childhood, "school" is a rather abstract term for them, which they would first have to look up in a dictionary – "if they had one," adds Filip Moritz with a wink.

Profits with leverage
Since many of the farmers are also smokers themselves, PM profits twice over, he says. "The great thing is, they sort of pay us for the product they grow themselves. We buy the product from them for a knockdown price and sell it back to them later at pharmacist prices!" enthuses Filip Moritz. "So it's the ideal win-lost situation."

He adds that the pharmacist should not be taken so literally. After all, local medical care is usually not all that good. "When the smoking farmer eventually dies off, after the family savings have been invested in treating his smoking diseases, his children come in and take over our gag leases." This is how this fine tradition is passed down from generation to generation, he said. "For all eternity," Moritz hopes. "Since usually the farmers' children also work on their parents' plantations, they already know how the business works." That saves on training time, he adds.

But Filip Moritz wouldn't be Filip Moritz if things didn't get even better. "Because farmers are growing tobacco instead of food for local people, thanks to our profit promises and cleverly trumped-up contracts, countries have to import food at a high cost. And now guess why I'm invested in food stocks." *grin

Filip Moritz
Filip Moritz has been advocating for years for the injustice of the little guy

Investing in the Zigcoin – knowing how
The Zigcoin is traded through a so-called "wallet", where it is paid for with the country's standard fiat currency. Fiat, by the way, means "let there be" ... "Light!", the Zigcoiners add, referring to the flickering of the lighter when the cigarette is lit.

One big advantage of the Zigcoin: Compared to bitcoin, the price trend is far less volatile. According to Filip Moritz, the danger of price collapses on the cigarette market is virtually non-existent. "The prices of cigarettes have been rising for decades and that will not change in the future!"

So how can you participate in the Zigcoin boom and invest in mining your own future?
Filip Moritz has a simple tip: "If you're already smoking, smoke some more - and if you're not, finally fucking start!"
To investors and inhalers, he recommends getting in as early as possible: "The sooner you start and the more steadily you increase your dose, the less you have to worry about your retirement savings.

Beginners can find a guide to starting a successful smoking career here!
Download now FOR A FEE!



]]> Sun, 21 Feb 2021 13:29:00 GMT https://start-smoking.com/blog/?zigcoin-the-new-world-currency https://start-smoking.com/blog/rss/000000012 <![CDATA[The cigarette diet - Simply (let) lose weight!]]> imblog Smoke yourself slim with the cigarette diet!

Lose weight through simple breathing exercises - is that possible? Yes! By the so-called tobacco inhalation (in the vernacular also "smoking")!

Many non-smokers struggle with the burden of redundant extremities since birth. They look enviously at the smoker in their circle of acquaintances who comes beaming from the hospital where he has lost a lot of weight or had his smoker's leg removed.

But amputations are expensive. As practical as they are, health insurance only covers the costs if there is a medical indication. Leg amputations without a corresponding medical condition are considered by most insurance companies to be a purely cosmetic procedure.

"We unfortunately have to reject applications for cost coverage from non-smokers who have their leg removed without a medical certificate," explains Tim Glimmer from the PAD medical service.

Smoker's leg
Many non-smokers would take the leg in their hand and walk with it to the PAD center, where they would then present it as proof that the amputation had been performed.

"As sorry as we are in individual cases, we have to ask people to take their leg back and accept the decision of the health insurance."

Procedures performed independently, most of which would be done by non-smoking hobbyists, are among the medically unnecessary cosmetic surgeries that are not subsidized or reimbursed, he said.

"No pain, no gain," says Glimmer. Even though cigarettes are the ideal tool to advance arteriosclerosis, it can take a few years to develop a proper smoker's leg. So Stängel recommends starting smoking as early as possible.

"We then at least give the disappointed non-smokers leaflets about cigarettes along with their leg before they limp home. Maybe they'll manage to start smoking and then have better luck with their other leg in a few years. Once you start smoking, chances are good you'll stick with it until the end."

Weight loss effects scientifically confirmed
In fact, the positive effects on body weight from a smoker leg amputation use have been scientifically proven. According to studies, smokers lose up to 18 kilos with such an amputation, depending on their initial body mass!

"Through the amputation, we achieve a sustainable reduction in body weight within a few minutes, which would not be possible with any other weight loss method in this time," explains Dr. H.B. Kehlkeling from the Nicotinology Faculty of Filip Moritz University Hospital in Kippenstadt. The institution is known for its nicotinological expertise and is considered the first port of call in the tobacco industry when, for example, cigarette manufacturers commission independent studies.

"When you realize that each leg of a biped is only 50% engaged, you realize the inefficiency of the entire pedal locomotor system," Dr. Kehlkeling says. "Through our method of maximally invasive amputation, we increase the utilization per stride and leg to twice that."

The cigarette - the weight loss miracle par excellence
Even the dreaded yo-yo effect, which often occurs with classic diets, does not occur with amputative weight reduction, says Dr. Kehlkeling. "The risk that the body mass lost will regenerate is statistically negligible."

The x-ray image says: Indeed, no more leg mass


Smoker's leg still the most popular
Even though all extremities are candidates for smoking-related amputation, the leg regularly occupies the top spot on the list of most popular amputations. "In principle, all arteries benefit from smoking-induced atherosclerotic plaques," Dr. Kehlkeling explains. "However, the leg is where these feel most comfortable."

Satisfied regulars
After experiencing their first amputation, many smokers are so thrilled that they keep coming back. "Some clients fully utilize their extremity potential - and visit us up to four times," Dr. Kehlkeling says proudly. The still remaining body after the fourth operation comes then already very near the energetic ideal condition of a ball.

Probably Dr. Kehlkeling's best-known customer is Smo King. He made it into the clinic's own Hall of Fume and signed the clinic's black book after his last surgery (with the pen in his mouth).

Smo King's fumography was recently published in the book "Start-Smoking ...".
]]> Wed, 10 Feb 2021 08:37:00 GMT https://start-smoking.com/blog/?slim-smoking https://start-smoking.com/blog/rss/000000004 <![CDATA[New year, new bad luck!]]> imblog
The Smoking Schweini Method - or how to put your smoking resolutions into action this year!

Yoo-hoo, it's Smoking Schweini, your inner smoking pig dog.

I thought I'd check in with you - now that the new year has a few days under its belt - and see how you're doing with your good intentions.

You must have resolved to increase your cigarette consumption this year, to increase the dose, just like every year - slowly but steadily, right?

And like every year, now that you're about to put it into practice, you're suddenly having doubts, aren't you? You're tempted to question your intentions or even throw them overboard.

But don't worry, that's what I'm here for! What are friends for. As your personal bastard, I'll support you wherever I can - and I'm good at it. We are not for nothing a well-rehearsed team for many years!

Even if a hater has crept in on this Website, which makes with its slanderous text tendency against me - you know, who belongs to you and your cigarettes. You can always count on me.

So, shut him up, that parasite called "guilty conscience" that gnaws and eats away at you somewhere. Demanding things that you don't want.

Don't doubt your chosen path. Keep your feet still and let yourself be carried away by the swaths of time.

Drive away all worries with thoughts of tomorrow!

Live in the now. Concentrate completely on my soothing voice, which gives you support in these restless times - together with the cigarette, which you can hold on to. You need both of us.

You will see, after a while there will be peace again, this "conscience" - all by itself.
We'll stay on track, the three of us!

So, smoke well - then it will work out with the doctor!
Your Schweini


Autor Schweini Schweinehund über gute Rauchervorsätze


]]> Wed, 13 Jan 2021 23:13:00 GMT https://start-smoking.com/blog/?new-year-new-bad-luck https://start-smoking.com/blog/rss/000000010 <![CDATA[I won big, by a lot!]]> imblog

Finally one platform where my messages aren’t corrupted by the Fake Lamestream Media!
Congratulations to Start Smoking for having me. Great job!

Well, I'm not used to writing more than 280 characters - or reading that much. But I will pass this challenge. I am the only US President to beat the Chinese virus! I will NOT lose - to viruses or votes! I won big, by a lot!

Do I smoke? No. But at least I do support Philip Morris by holding their stock. What has the radical left ever done for the American Tobacco industry? Nothing at all! They are against your personal freedom! First they want to take away our guns, next they'll take your cigarettes!

They don't care about all the children in the developing world either. Thanks to PM and BAT subcontractors, these children can go to work every day on the tobacco plantations. Have you never wondered why the unemployment rate of children is so low in developing countries? Without smokers and the tobacco industry, these children would not have jobs! Instead they would have to go to school!

Do children like to go to school? I don't think so. I never liked going to school. And look where I am today! I am POTATO ... POTUS! ... (hate that damn autocorrect function) ... I'm still POTUS. And will be. I won big, by a lot!

And what about the parents of these kids, the tobacco farmers. Without smokers they would have to grow food in their fields instead of tobacco. Then why should they import food from the US! No one from the socialists told you that. So sad.

To the German people: I don't like your chancellor lady that much. I know she won't let you party and firecrackers this New Year's Eve. My advise: Just light a cigarette and make your own little Feuerwerk!

PS: I won big, by a lot!
]]> Wed, 30 Dec 2020 19:06:00 GMT https://start-smoking.com/blog/?american-tobacco https://start-smoking.com/blog/rss/00000000E <![CDATA[Retailers count on PAD „window shoppers”]]> imblog
Retailers hope for PADlers and invite for window-shopping!
Smoking has always been the biggest promoter of PAD, the peripheral artery disease, which is caused by circulatory problems in the arteries that can lead to the popular smoker's leg.

The PAD - shop window to the artery
In the case of PAVK, constrictions in the arteries (preferably in the thighs) caused by deposits lead to an obstruction of the blood flow.

PAD arteries
Deposits in the vessels allow the leg is no longer supplied with sufficient oxygen.

Beneficiaries of the PAD can usually only walk short distances before they have to stop in pain – as if they were going from shop window to shop window. This is why PAD is also affectionately called "window shoppers disease".

Impulse for the retail economy
The economy is relying on impulses from window shoppers for the retail sector, which has been badly hit by the Corona crisis. "We are hoping for an increase in the number of smokers," says Arthurio Sklerosi from the CILASUMF trade association (cigarettes, lignite, alcohol, sugar, Monsanto and furs), also with a view to the upcoming winter season in the fur trade.

Arthurio Sclerosi: Idealist and Philanthropist

Sclerosi hopes that the "windower", the colloquial term for PAD patients in smoking jargon, will increasingly "move" in the shopping streets and pedestrian zones.

He is already calling on his tobacco dealers and fur shop owners in the association to invest in an attractive window display. "If we succeed in getting more people to smoke again, the classic shop window could experience a revival in the strategic marketing of the retail trade and become the new old point of sale". Sklerosi appeals to PAD-guys not to have their leg taken off, but to be taken to the city centres instead, to shop windows and perhaps discover one or the other buying opportunity.

Although the purchase prices for real fur have been further reduced by optimising the cage occupancy with live animals on Chinese fur farms and thus improving the margin situation somewhat, it is now important to use the momentum of the increasing willingness on consumers to buy real fur products in autumn.
"I appeal to the sympathy of the end customers, who can support the fur traders and our Chinese suppliers by buying real fur and any fur-trimmed clothing and accessories. A little less selfishness would be good for them all."
]]> Thu, 05 Nov 2020 08:37:00 GMT https://start-smoking.com/blog/?retailers-hoping-for-more-smokers https://start-smoking.com/blog/rss/00000000D