Smoker's Leg Substitute
New in the "corn be alert" collection!
This smoker's replacement leg was grown in a special nutrient solution that simulates the arteriosclerosis of your ex-leg. You will therefore have no problems adapting to your new leg and can stop in front of shop windows as usual.Besides a measuring tape, the Do-it-Yourself-Sewing-Kit included in the price contains everything you need for self-assembly. Buttons to decorate the seams round off the package.
- Either a right or left version is available in all gender variants.
- The degree of hairiness can be individually adjusted using the slider at the end of the ordering process.
- The leg is delivered in standard dimensions. So you still have to adjust it to the right size with your angle grinder.
Note on our own behalf: During the production of a batch of replacement legs, our tissue engineering department made a mistake. An employee had accidentally pressed the wrong button, so instead of right legs, left ones were produced and delivered. Affected are smoker replacement legs with serial numbers 02400 - 02899. Many customers apparently only noticed the error when the new leg had already grown on.
Statement of the Management
Dear customers and smoker's leg carriers,
You know us as a reliable supplier of smoker's legs, lung cancers and a variety of other products for daily smoking needs.
For generations we have been producing smoker's legs for you in the highest quality and full of passion. We do this in the tradition of our company exclusively in the best financial interest.
All the more we regret the incident that recently occurred in our smoker's leg factory in Buttscity and led to the delivery of misaligned smoker's legs. We formally apologize to our customers for the inconvenience caused by the incorrect delivery in their everyday lives - such as when buying new shoes.
As compensation, we are offering all those affected a free replacement of their right arm with a new left arm. In this way, due to the anatomically uniform left alignment of all extremities, a visually perfect appearance would be restored. We take the liberty of passing on the remaining right arm to our cooperation partner Lungs & Livers - your competent partner for body parts and other contract work.
Another advantage of the exchange would be that the beneficiaries could leave manual work to other household members in the future. Finally, their claim of having two left hands would be hard to contradict.
We look forward to continuing to do business with you and will do our best to ensure your continued uncomfort in the future.
Your Filip Moritz
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