The smoking blog of Start Smoking - Start Smoking – from non-smoker to chain smoker!

Satirical website for non- and still-smokers
The satirical website for non- and still-smokersContains a high level of black tumor!
Go to content

The cigarette diet - Simply (let) lose weight!

Start Smoking – from non-smoker to chain smoker!
10 February 2021
Smoke yourself slim with the cigarette diet!

Lose weight through simple breathing exercises - is that possible? Yes! By the so-called tobacco inhalation (in the vernacular also "smoking")!

Many non-smokers struggle with the burden of redundant extremities since birth. They look enviously at the smoker in their circle of acquaintances who comes beaming from the hospital where he has lost a lot of weight or had his smoker's leg removed.

But amputations are expensive. As practical as they are, health insurance only covers the costs if there is a medical indication. Leg amputations without a corresponding medical condition are considered by most insurance companies to be a purely cosmetic procedure.

"We unfortunately have to reject applications for cost coverage from non-smokers who have their leg removed without a medical certificate," explains Tim Glimmer from the PAD medical service.

Smoker's leg
Many non-smokers would take the leg in their hand and walk with it to the PAD center, where they would then present it as proof that the amputation had been performed.

"As sorry as we are in individual cases, we have to ask people to take their leg back and accept the decision of the health insurance."

Procedures performed independently, most of which would be done by non-smoking hobbyists, are among the medically unnecessary cosmetic surgeries that are not subsidized or reimbursed, he said.

"No pain, no gain," says Glimmer. Even though cigarettes are the ideal tool to advance arteriosclerosis, it can take a few years to develop a proper smoker's leg. So Stängel recommends starting smoking as early as possible.

"We then at least give the disappointed non-smokers leaflets about cigarettes along with their leg before they limp home. Maybe they'll manage to start smoking and then have better luck with their other leg in a few years. Once you start smoking, chances are good you'll stick with it until the end."

Weight loss effects scientifically confirmed
In fact, the positive effects on body weight from a smoker leg amputation use have been scientifically proven. According to studies, smokers lose up to 18 kilos with such an amputation, depending on their initial body mass!

"Through the amputation, we achieve a sustainable reduction in body weight within a few minutes, which would not be possible with any other weight loss method in this time," explains Dr. H.B. Kehlkeling from the Nicotinology Faculty of Filip Moritz University Hospital in Kippenstadt. The institution is known for its nicotinological expertise and is considered the first port of call in the tobacco industry when, for example, cigarette manufacturers commission independent studies.

"When you realize that each leg of a biped is only 50% engaged, you realize the inefficiency of the entire pedal locomotor system," Dr. Kehlkeling says. "Through our method of maximally invasive amputation, we increase the utilization per stride and leg to twice that."

The cigarette - the weight loss miracle par excellence
Even the dreaded yo-yo effect, which often occurs with classic diets, does not occur with amputative weight reduction, says Dr. Kehlkeling. "The risk that the body mass lost will regenerate is statistically negligible."

The x-ray image says: Indeed, no more leg mass

Smoker's leg still the most popular
Even though all extremities are candidates for smoking-related amputation, the leg regularly occupies the top spot on the list of most popular amputations. "In principle, all arteries benefit from smoking-induced atherosclerotic plaques," Dr. Kehlkeling explains. "However, the leg is where these feel most comfortable."

Satisfied regulars
After experiencing their first amputation, many smokers are so thrilled that they keep coming back. "Some clients fully utilize their extremity potential - and visit us up to four times," Dr. Kehlkeling says proudly. The still remaining body after the fourth operation comes then already very near the energetic ideal condition of a ball.

Probably Dr. Kehlkeling's best-known customer is Smo King. He made it into the clinic's own Hall of Fume and signed the clinic's black book after his last surgery (with the pen in his mouth).

Smo King's fumography was recently published in the book "Start-Smoking ...".

Back to content